Sunday, March 29, 2015

What’s an old man to do?

I’m on the wrong side of the bed as I wake.
I put on a shirt that’s inside out.
I have three cups of coffee.
I know it will give me a headache.
I’m out for a walk with the reading glasses.
Should I come to a light, it’s probably red.
It’s rainy and windy and the umbrella snaps.
Water gets into the shoes.
I sit on the bus and get bedbugs.
Stop and Shop doesn't have what I need.
Home again, on the first try, as usual, I turn the key backwards.
I look at the room; it’s untidy.
I tidy the room and it’s never enough.
I sweep the floor and stub my toe.
Then of course I’m wearing the distance glasses
When I pick up a book to read.
I shout, “You knew that would happen, but you did it anyway!”
The next door neighbor pounds on the wall.
He says, “What the hell are you doing in there?”
When I go to type “m”, I press “n.”
Windows crashes and nothing is saved.
Making the bed, I feel like a nap.
The shirt comes off inside out.
I don’t bother to fix it for next time.
I wake up too soon to pee.
It sprinkles on top of the floor.
Five minutes spent and it’s never all gone from the bladder.
My arm has a bump and I scratch it.
What’s an old man to do?

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